Entries
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
A month of unwritten thoughts..actually i did typed an entry a week or so back..BUT FUCK THE INTERNET..it didn't got through..so here i am now with a "new" entry..can't quite remember fully what i wrote..but it had to be somethings about my precious..and naz..let me recall the words that i used..ouh yahh..now i'm really proud of him..he is in Taiwan now..and coincidentally its hisbirthday today..ahackz..he's on his way in becoming a specialist now..wowww..he will lead his men in the near future..look what he has become now..from that nobody beside a someone,to a somebody beside a no one..decipher that people..he can finally rest his head high..and i'm proud to be his friend..
Nearly 6 months me and my precious have been together..been in and out of fights like no one'selse's business..well once we get this together it will worth more than any awards is..went to the beach ona particular saturday..spent like nearly the whole day there..and that was after a fight the night before..all was not well on that day..i still felt shitty..still felt she had not forgiven me..but i carried on nevertheless..couldn't see it coming down my eyes before we went to the bach and even until we had finished our day at the beach..don't know why..she then wanted to eat over at parkway..Banquet to be precise..so we wentthere..i ordered a plate of carrot cake while she ordered hokkien mee..and for some reason,my hands were trembling..i couldn't even feed myself..i put down the chopsticks for a while..and there it was..she took someof my food and fed me..and that was it..i could finally see it coming down my eyes now..and it wasn't the song that cried..i realised how caring she was..all these small little things are those that count..if she hadthe initiative to feed me now..she will also have that intiative in the future..there lies in front of me a personwho will take care of me no matter what..
Now all is well between me and my precious..the way she talked and treat me now is magical..it's likemy own dream girl taking care of me..all that i want in a girl she has it now..yeah..woww Lan..woww..and where is my previous dream girl now?? oh gone drinking at a club and getting drunk all night long..whichhotel she will visit after that is anybody's guess..blearrghh..people change..and i do mean people change..from the broken hearted to the naive..from the egoistic to the fallen..all will change..it's just a matter howthe changes will take place...i've seen people come and go..what's sad is that what we used to have togethercan never again be used like before..what i thought could be forever had to be memories..what i thoughtcould be together had to be seperated..can't blame them though..that's their chosen path..whom i thoughtwould stay had to leave with just a fading footprint..
And just today,i learnt what my little brother went through at his uncle's place..beaten by hands..i can never forgive those who lay a finger on my little one..and now this happened..to say i can't forgiveis wrong for those hands do belong to my own blood..but i can never forget..gone are the respect that resides within..and gone are thoughts of him as one of the greates figures in my life..fuck all those shit..like i said above..things change..and this is it..the world is coming to an end..it's inevitable..and to lose respect for my own flesh and blood is one of the signs..so be it..many have chose to give up on my little one..but they forget who's brother is that..it's fair for me to say NONE of any of my flesh and bloodhad went through like what i went..yes i went to that part of the society..yes i did those type of things..yes i had those type of friends..yes i performed with all those type of people..yes i went to those typeof places..yes i've fallen on that road..yes i grew up in the streets..BUT HELL NO I DIDN'T GREW UPPROTECTED LIKE SOME PRINCE OR PRINCESS SHIT IN A PALACE..None of them i dare say went through what i did..be it my dad's..or my mum's..smart..but not streetwise..able but not capable..my little one has me by my side..and i will make sure his bringing up is as colourful as mine..and not boring assome..books he may read..but it will be the streets that will teach him...like what his brother went through..
"air dicincang tak akan diputus..Senang..Close the tap"
Write with no regret
10:17:00 PM
